I love how in the everyday English colloquial there are little phrases that are like the “get of jail free” cards in Monopoly. It does not matter what ever your transgression is, as long as you possess this card you are above the law, and can do no wrong. It seems that you can anything you want, and as long as you preface or end your remark with one of these phrases, you do not have to deal with any ramifications your comments my stir up. Just a few of these “freedom passes”:
Don’t get mad but….
Don’t take offense but….
….just kidding
…..I am only saying this cause I love you……
Don’t take this the wrong way…….
Who are we kidding here? I hate it when someone starts a comment with one of these gems, because to me what they are really saying is, “I am going to verbally punch you in the face right now, and you are not allow to get mad or upset about it.” Then they proceed to opens up a can on you and you are just supposed to take it. Are you for real???? It’s almost the person making the request takes courage and becomes bold, because they really thing the other person is not going to be offended. Wow, life called and they want their reality back!
My favorite part of the conversation is when you actually do take offense to what was said and they have the audacity to get mad and say, “What I said no offense!!!” Like those magical words make everything better. I like to see that in the next Presidential debate. I can see it now; McCain leans into the microphone and says Obama is a terrorist funding, candy stealing, idol worshiping, pig face man….no offense. Then the mediator looks at Obama and asks for a rebuttal, to which Barrack replies, “Well Jim, he did say ‘no offense’…”
I remember when I was younger, I got a phone call from a family member, and the whole point of the phone call was to tell me how fat I am. This is not a joke. As I was being told that I needed to loose weight, my blood was boiling and I was ready to telling this person off, and they ended their remarks by saying, “now don’t get mad, I am only saying this because I love you…” Then what I supposed to say after that? Nothing, I had something and now I got nothing.
Is this the best way that we as a society have decided to tell people how we really feel? I am sure that all of you reading this are better people than I am, but when someone tells me not to get mad, I get mad. They have not even said anything, but the very fact that they told me not to, does. We need to understand as a culture that this line of communication is less effective.
So here is a little tip to end this blog, I you have something to tell someone and it might hurt their feeling or be offensive, telling them that they can’t get offended doesn’t really work. So I would thin of another way to tell them. But don’t think that just because you pull out a get out of jail card that you’re footloose and fancy free to exercise your first amendment right of freedom of speech.
Can I get a witnesssa???????
Don’t get mad but….
Don’t take offense but….
….just kidding
…..I am only saying this cause I love you……
Don’t take this the wrong way…….
Who are we kidding here? I hate it when someone starts a comment with one of these gems, because to me what they are really saying is, “I am going to verbally punch you in the face right now, and you are not allow to get mad or upset about it.” Then they proceed to opens up a can on you and you are just supposed to take it. Are you for real???? It’s almost the person making the request takes courage and becomes bold, because they really thing the other person is not going to be offended. Wow, life called and they want their reality back!
My favorite part of the conversation is when you actually do take offense to what was said and they have the audacity to get mad and say, “What I said no offense!!!” Like those magical words make everything better. I like to see that in the next Presidential debate. I can see it now; McCain leans into the microphone and says Obama is a terrorist funding, candy stealing, idol worshiping, pig face man….no offense. Then the mediator looks at Obama and asks for a rebuttal, to which Barrack replies, “Well Jim, he did say ‘no offense’…”
I remember when I was younger, I got a phone call from a family member, and the whole point of the phone call was to tell me how fat I am. This is not a joke. As I was being told that I needed to loose weight, my blood was boiling and I was ready to telling this person off, and they ended their remarks by saying, “now don’t get mad, I am only saying this because I love you…” Then what I supposed to say after that? Nothing, I had something and now I got nothing.
Is this the best way that we as a society have decided to tell people how we really feel? I am sure that all of you reading this are better people than I am, but when someone tells me not to get mad, I get mad. They have not even said anything, but the very fact that they told me not to, does. We need to understand as a culture that this line of communication is less effective.
So here is a little tip to end this blog, I you have something to tell someone and it might hurt their feeling or be offensive, telling them that they can’t get offended doesn’t really work. So I would thin of another way to tell them. But don’t think that just because you pull out a get out of jail card that you’re footloose and fancy free to exercise your first amendment right of freedom of speech.
Can I get a witnesssa???????
15 comments:
no offense honey, but you're crazy.
Here, Here!
And now you have us all wondering which family member it was that called. Is it possible we were the one and we have long since forgotten about it, since obviously no offense was meant?
ha ha ha, becasue I was not allowed to be offended I have forgotten the who they were......
:)
That's really funny- Ali once called me during my chubby years to tell me how fat I'd gotten, and one eating disorder later here I am! Thanks, sis.
It's true. Saying "no offense" doesn't do squat other than make the attacker feel better about themselves for ruining someone's day. I'm with you on this one, Jon.
It's true. Saying "no offense" doesn't do squat other than make the attacker feel better about themselves for ruining someone's day. I'm with you on this one, Jon.
Totally agree Jon!! Sometimes we just need to keep our opinions to our selves. 'If you can't say anything nice then don't say it at all.' Love the blog Jon! :-)
I quote the great Will Farrell in one of his greatest movies, Talladega Nights...
"Ricky: Mr. Dennit, with all due respect... I had no idea that you had an experimental surgery to have your (censored) removed.
Mr Dennit: What?!
Ricky: Well I said with all due respect!
Mr Dennit: That doesn’t mean you get to say what ever you want!!
Ricky: It sure as (heck) does! Its in the Geneva convention!
later on...
Ricky: Mr. Dennit, with all due respect, and remember I'm sayin' it with all due respect, that idea ain't worth a velvet painting of a whale and a dolphin (censored)"
Adam,
no offense but you are up in the night.
Everyone else,
I NEVER SAID ANYTHING LIKE THAT TO MY LITTLE BROTHER
Though there may be a few who truly believe that these phrases automatically save them from the consequence of their confrontation, I think it is mostly a phrase repeated without thought. Kind of like 'Beyond a shadow of a doubt'.
agree with you 100 percent. it drives me bonkers when people really do use it in the way you are writing about it.
Why are dragonflies so important? I dont understand why we need to increase the amino acid content. JH is ...l
What is UP MY BROTHER! Glad to see you jumped on the blog-bandwagon...a while ago. Thanks for tracking me down.
How are you handling everything? When are you back in the Promised Land?
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