My Book Report........

A couple of months ago Ali and I made a deal that we would choose a book from our own personal library for the other to read. The goal was to bring in more appreciation for each other’s likes and dislikes, and over all be a new bonding moment. Ali (bless her heart), just finished Breaking Dawn the last book in the vampire sensation series by Stephanie Meyer.

So naturally she wanted to share this series with me, and chose the first book in the series Twilight as her book for me.

I have to admit I was curious at first to dive into this book; I wanted to see what the entire craze was about. I mean for the past several months it’s all I heard about when talking to the family, “so how far is Ali in the book…..” Not to mention that when a new book came out I think that all LDS husbands lost their wives for a few days, until they finished the book. I was intrigued by the book, enough to run around the JFK airport looking for a soft covered copy to take on my flight.

So I cracked this bad boy open and read the first chapter, and then I had to change my clothes from all the goopy sap that came spilling out of the book, I mean honestly?! Now before the hate comments start pouring in, and I realize that many of you at this point are only half reading and half formulating a comeback, but stay with me here and hear me out. I just might surprise you. J

I am fully aware that these books were written for a younger crowd and not 32 years old males, who spend their reading time with counter terrorist novels. Such as myself. So I get that young girls are into the whole “I am in love thing and the idea consumes my very being,” and so she had her audience in mind when writing the book. That is not my argument at all.

The thing that I have against the book is her obsessing need to remind us how incredibly good looking he was, and how he is embodiment of human physical perfection. I mean I wanted to put a gun to my head every time we were reminded of his perfectly chiseled chin and facial features, or his perfectly defined chest muscles. I swear whenever the author had a writer’s block she tried to get out of it by starting off with how beautiful he is and how hopelessly in love Bella was. BLEAHHHHHHH! If that was the case, Stephanie Meyer must have had writer’s block once every other page. Don’t get me started on Mrs. Meyer’s obsession with Edwards’s eyes. I swear he has the power to woo any young girl with just one look. I mean how many times she was ready to break up and he just looked at here and then all was miraculously forgiven.

Also in reflecting on the book, Bella must have been a girl with very, very, low self esteem. I mean honestly!!! Edward was a pretty abusive guy, and Bella was in a pretty abusive relationship. He was so mean to her, and she just kept coming back again, and again, and again. If you took the book and based it in a trailer park it would have not changed the story line one bit, in fact it would have made it a little more believable. I was flipping through the channels last night and I thought I saw Twilight’s movie trailer, but it was an episode of COPS. I mean all I saw was a guy yelling at a girl, and all she said back was...”I love you…”

There are so many other things I could add on, but I think I probably lost my readers by now, and the only ones finishing this are the people ready to rebuttal my opinion, and that’s ok. I except some upset readers.

Well maybe I did not surprise you, but I realize that LDS women of the world are going to start a huge hate campaign against me, and Ali may not talk to me for a day or so, but if you look with in your soul you will know what I am saying true, and please do not take my thoughts as a personal attack against all the fantasies that this book conjured up, I am just saying that I did not get into it, and I don’t think I will pick up the next version.