Geeks-vile, Population Me!!!

I know this may come to no surprise to any of you but deep down inside I think we all have a little geek in all of us. I know that we may not want to admit it, but if you are honest with yourself I am sure you will agree. Well my inner geek came out this past weekend.

I have a favorite author, Vince Flynn, and I have read all of his books. He is pretty much the reason that I got back into reading for pleasure. I love how he writes, the way he orchestrates the text on the pages, memories me, to where I cannot put the book down. No matter how late it is and how early I have to get up the next day. I love his books. He writes “thriller” novels, mostly about counterterrorism and government secrets. This may not be your cup of tea, but man, put a book like that in front of me and I am happy for a week or two. He does so much research that the scenarios in his books are very realistic, and make you wonder what is real and what is fiction. Man I love it.

Well he has written 9 books and his 10th came out on the 30th of October. So I was scanning his website, http://www.vinceflynn.com/ and saw that he was doing a book tour, and holy frijoles he was coming to PHX!!!!!!! So this is when the inner geek came ripping out of my chest and I moved mountains to make sure that I was in town to see him. Now in my line of work I have been fortunate to meet all kinds of celebrities, and I have to tell you, I am not a person who gets really excited to see someone famous. In my mind, they probably want their privacy and I should respect that. I appreciate all that they have done for me, entertainment wise, but after that they are normal people.
Having said all that, on the day of the Vince Flynn book signing, I was a giddy little school boy, walking around with a smile on my face that for the life of me I could not get rid of. It was all I can talk about, I am sure Ali was hoping this would be over soon, so she could get back to her life with a normal husband. She was very supportive.

So I called the Poisoned Pen, the bookstore where he would be, and I asked them when we would be signing, just so I could be on time. The lady on the other end of the phone told me that I would want to be there by 7:00pm because he would be speaking and answering questions. Holy Cow, be still my soul, I get to ask him questions. I me how often do you get a chance to sit down with the author of your favorite book and ask them why they chose to make that twist, or that ending? I mean how many of you ladies would like an opportunity to chat with Jane Austin? What would you say? What would she talk about?
Well now you know how I felt, crazy!!!!

Well we got their and man it was awesome, the anticipation was intense, I had to laugh at myself because I never really felt this way about someone outside of Ali. I was a high school teenage girl waiting for the captain of the football team to look my way.

Anyway, it was very funny and very entertaining. But outside of seeing and talking with Vince Flynn, Ali and I witnessed a truly awkward moment between husband and wife. So picture this, a group of about 100 are sitting around waiting for Vince to come out and talk to us. We had about 5 minutes to go. All of a sudden a man (who I personally think is a few fries short of a Happy Meal) gets up and pretends to be Vince and starts talking to the crowd. Here is a picture of it, and even though I was really embarrassed for this man. It quickly turned to entertainment when you see that the wife of this man is angry beyond description and is making it worse by not hiding it. Look again at the woman in the pink sweater. I know the picture is a little blurry, but I had to take the flash off so I could document her awkward anger. She was talking to herself and trying to inconspicuously kick her husband which made the enter situation worse. I swear I was watching Kristen Wiig from SNL doing a skit. Ali and I were laughing really hard, and unfortunately it was at their expense.

It was an awesome experience, and heck even Ali said it was really fun. One of the coolest things that I have done. And in the end he was even cool enough to take a pic with us.

Ah well on to the next adventure……

Blogg'n it like it is.......

I love how in the everyday English colloquial there are little phrases that are like the “get of jail free” cards in Monopoly. It does not matter what ever your transgression is, as long as you possess this card you are above the law, and can do no wrong. It seems that you can anything you want, and as long as you preface or end your remark with one of these phrases, you do not have to deal with any ramifications your comments my stir up. Just a few of these “freedom passes”:

Don’t get mad but….
Don’t take offense but….
….just kidding
…..I am only saying this cause I love you……
Don’t take this the wrong way…….

Who are we kidding here? I hate it when someone starts a comment with one of these gems, because to me what they are really saying is, “I am going to verbally punch you in the face right now, and you are not allow to get mad or upset about it.” Then they proceed to opens up a can on you and you are just supposed to take it. Are you for real???? It’s almost the person making the request takes courage and becomes bold, because they really thing the other person is not going to be offended. Wow, life called and they want their reality back!

My favorite part of the conversation is when you actually do take offense to what was said and they have the audacity to get mad and say, “What I said no offense!!!” Like those magical words make everything better. I like to see that in the next Presidential debate. I can see it now; McCain leans into the microphone and says Obama is a terrorist funding, candy stealing, idol worshiping, pig face man….no offense. Then the mediator looks at Obama and asks for a rebuttal, to which Barrack replies, “Well Jim, he did say ‘no offense’…”

I remember when I was younger, I got a phone call from a family member, and the whole point of the phone call was to tell me how fat I am. This is not a joke. As I was being told that I needed to loose weight, my blood was boiling and I was ready to telling this person off, and they ended their remarks by saying, “now don’t get mad, I am only saying this because I love you…” Then what I supposed to say after that? Nothing, I had something and now I got nothing.

Is this the best way that we as a society have decided to tell people how we really feel? I am sure that all of you reading this are better people than I am, but when someone tells me not to get mad, I get mad. They have not even said anything, but the very fact that they told me not to, does. We need to understand as a culture that this line of communication is less effective.

So here is a little tip to end this blog, I you have something to tell someone and it might hurt their feeling or be offensive, telling them that they can’t get offended doesn’t really work. So I would thin of another way to tell them. But don’t think that just because you pull out a get out of jail card that you’re footloose and fancy free to exercise your first amendment right of freedom of speech.

Can I get a witnesssa???????

Thanks Shawn & Jill

Hey I just wanted to take the step away from the hate and bring back the love for just a moment. Today being 9/11, I just wanted to say how proud I am of my brother Shawn. He is Iraq right now defending the very freedom that is threatened on a daily bases. The sacrifices he is making, and the other troops over there are very humbling. I live to the largest F-16 training facility in the nation, so I see these fighter planes fly over head hourly. Without fail every time I see them I feel safe, and protected. And sometimes I say a quick prayer thanks God for my bounties and asking him to protect Shawn. Then My thoughts turn to my sister Jill, who is not over in Iraq, but making huge sacrifices to ensure the people in the Middle East are free.
Jill & Shawn, my heart goes out to you today. And wanted to write a quick post to tell you thanks for all your sacrifice, and I am sure the Lord will pour out huge blessing because of it. Sacrifice brings us closer to the Lord. I know it’s easy and I can’t imagine what it is like, I love you both. And my thoughts and prayers are with you today.

Love,
Jonny

My Book Report........

A couple of months ago Ali and I made a deal that we would choose a book from our own personal library for the other to read. The goal was to bring in more appreciation for each other’s likes and dislikes, and over all be a new bonding moment. Ali (bless her heart), just finished Breaking Dawn the last book in the vampire sensation series by Stephanie Meyer.

So naturally she wanted to share this series with me, and chose the first book in the series Twilight as her book for me.

I have to admit I was curious at first to dive into this book; I wanted to see what the entire craze was about. I mean for the past several months it’s all I heard about when talking to the family, “so how far is Ali in the book…..” Not to mention that when a new book came out I think that all LDS husbands lost their wives for a few days, until they finished the book. I was intrigued by the book, enough to run around the JFK airport looking for a soft covered copy to take on my flight.

So I cracked this bad boy open and read the first chapter, and then I had to change my clothes from all the goopy sap that came spilling out of the book, I mean honestly?! Now before the hate comments start pouring in, and I realize that many of you at this point are only half reading and half formulating a comeback, but stay with me here and hear me out. I just might surprise you. J

I am fully aware that these books were written for a younger crowd and not 32 years old males, who spend their reading time with counter terrorist novels. Such as myself. So I get that young girls are into the whole “I am in love thing and the idea consumes my very being,” and so she had her audience in mind when writing the book. That is not my argument at all.

The thing that I have against the book is her obsessing need to remind us how incredibly good looking he was, and how he is embodiment of human physical perfection. I mean I wanted to put a gun to my head every time we were reminded of his perfectly chiseled chin and facial features, or his perfectly defined chest muscles. I swear whenever the author had a writer’s block she tried to get out of it by starting off with how beautiful he is and how hopelessly in love Bella was. BLEAHHHHHHH! If that was the case, Stephanie Meyer must have had writer’s block once every other page. Don’t get me started on Mrs. Meyer’s obsession with Edwards’s eyes. I swear he has the power to woo any young girl with just one look. I mean how many times she was ready to break up and he just looked at here and then all was miraculously forgiven.

Also in reflecting on the book, Bella must have been a girl with very, very, low self esteem. I mean honestly!!! Edward was a pretty abusive guy, and Bella was in a pretty abusive relationship. He was so mean to her, and she just kept coming back again, and again, and again. If you took the book and based it in a trailer park it would have not changed the story line one bit, in fact it would have made it a little more believable. I was flipping through the channels last night and I thought I saw Twilight’s movie trailer, but it was an episode of COPS. I mean all I saw was a guy yelling at a girl, and all she said back was...”I love you…”

There are so many other things I could add on, but I think I probably lost my readers by now, and the only ones finishing this are the people ready to rebuttal my opinion, and that’s ok. I except some upset readers.

Well maybe I did not surprise you, but I realize that LDS women of the world are going to start a huge hate campaign against me, and Ali may not talk to me for a day or so, but if you look with in your soul you will know what I am saying true, and please do not take my thoughts as a personal attack against all the fantasies that this book conjured up, I am just saying that I did not get into it, and I don’t think I will pick up the next version.

Seriously So BLessed.....Seriously!

Well as many of you that had no clue, this past week I found myself in Switzerland. I have no idea how I got there…..just kidding. Not to have my manhood in question but holy moley it was beautiful. I was in a city called Montreux located in the far corner of Lake Geneva. I know that many people don’t really think of Switzerland when they travel to Europe, but you have got to spend some time there.


I love my job, it sends me to the craziest place. Take a look at some of these pics

View of Lake Geneva

No I am not in Disneyland that is the actual Matterhorn! Holla!

I know tht when people think of Switzerlind they thin of those recola men blowing horns and yelling, "RECOOOLAAAAAA" So I did what to disapoint.

Gotta love the people walking in front...film set rookies!

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner!

I was up in Las Vegas (not my favorite place) for a work convention the other weekend, and I got a seriously sweet hook-up. There was a little last minute business that I had to get done for work, so I did not get to the hotel until 4:30 in the morning. I was tired, I was carrying my luggage, and I was not in the mood to be friendly. (As a side note, I find it very pathetic that the casino floor was still going strong this early in the morning.) As I get up to the registration counter to check in, they tell me that I have been “upgraded” and I am in a sweet.
I was not really all that impressed with this gesture because in today’s hotel world, they put out the room a little put a couch in the room and call it a suite. When in actuality the room is not much bigger than all the other rooms. So I thank her and go to my room. And this is what I saw-

Still not really impressed I just went into the room and found the bed and I just fell onto it and just went to sleep. The next morning I wake up and really confused, I felt like I was in some else’s room. This is what I woke up to:

(you could have fit 5 people in this shower easy)

I tell you guys it was crazy, I felt like Tom Hanks in BIG! I mean there was a hallway bathroom, the curtains in the Master Bathroom open & close by remote control, who stays in places like this? In life you win some, and you lose some, and that night I won! Even if it was for only one night.

A Moment of Truth

When I started this blog I said I would not be one of those people that blogs strong for a couple of weeks and then stops, and yet that is exactly what I did. Ha, ha, ha, I guess I am one of those guys.

In the past couple of weeks I have been doing a ton of driving around the western US. I have had some crazy things happen to me that I will blog about later. However on my travels I have had a ton of time to think about life and the things that matter most. Before I dive into my thoughts I know that many of you do not get to see my thoughtful side, because I like to be a clown, but just want to give you a warning its coming.

I don’t know if you are like me, but for the longest time I feel like I have not been an active participant in my own life. Meaning I have sitting idling by while it passes by, you know what I mean? I have been taking the path of least resistance, not because it was bad or wrong, but it was easy. Don’t get me wrong, there have been times where I have seen something and gone after it, but for the most part I have not been working towards something.

For example, some people become doctors because that is what they wanted to be since they were little kids. They make all their choices based on their end goal, becoming a doctor. I have never had that end goal, or that cool something that drove my choices. I feel like I have floated through life and if it happened then cool, and if not then that sucks but ah well. The problem with this paradigm is that opportunities present themselves and because I am not looking for them, they pass me by, unnoticed like a stranger I will never know.

Before you all think that I have jumped of the deep end and am sitting here in a funnel of depression, I want to say that despite not feeling like I have had a direction, I have had a great life. I consider myself very blessed. I have been able to do things that most people will never do, but then again I am a Hallstrom. Just kidding, family joke. No seriously, when we are all in heaven in the movie house, eating popcorn and watching my life movie, no one will look around and think that I have had it bad.

I am just thinking that it is time to fire the person that is sleeping behind the wheel of my future and take control again. This is not an announcement of any kind but just a moment of truth. I have never really had a 5, 10, and 20, plan. I know that not many people do, but successful people do. The Hallstrom in me has a desire to be successful, or at least have enough to adequately provide for my family, and have the 120 foot yacht that sails me around the world every year…..just kidding.

So today I pledge to each of you, the people I care about most, that I will be better. I want to thank each of you for parts that each of you played in my life up to this point, and here after. I know I am a pooh of a brother, cousin, and nephew, because I do not make more of an effort to stay in touch. But please know that it is not a reflection on how I love each of you individually, and collectively.

Malama Your Mamma.